I've been alittle better these past few days. That could be because I don't have rehearsal at all this week. YEA!!! I am super excited. But anyways. Sometimes I just feel like I'm not good enough, you know? But I know that I am. It's just me getting down on myself or whatever. I have noticed here lately, that I sure am whiny. It's not something that is a good thing. SO I have tried to keep things to myself. Anyway I have to go clock out and go home, so asta!!!!

Why does it feel like I am constantly struggling? In everything I do. I just feel like giving up half of the time. But that would be silly right? There were many times these past few weeks that I just wanted to quit stage managing. But I know that I can't and I wouldn't do that. It was just the feelings I had. I mean what do you do when you have a cast that won't listen to the director much less you? Anyways. Then I feel I guess inadequate. You know? In everything that I do, I just feel like I'm not good enough. Yea thats just Satan creeping in the back door. I get so pumped about huddles and the kids, then during the week, when I should be really hanging out with them, I feel so drained from school, work and rehearsals. I feel like I am letting them down, God down, and myself down. But no one else sees it that way, only me. I think that I am starting to stretch myself too thin. I am in school, I have work, I have rehearsals, I have huddles, and then I agree to do this bible study. That sounds so bad, but its the truth. Its not that I wouldn't benefit from the bible study, its just I feel so exhausted as it is. There is so much going on right now, I think I could scream. Since I am off rehearsal this week, I think I am going to call up the childrens home girls and see if they want to do something on saturday. If Ginger lets them. Well I am starting to get sleepy, so adios, and who knows when the next time I'll post will be?!