So my parents are gone for the weekend, which leaves me here...alone. It has its ups and downs I guess. I'm kinda glad to get a break from my parents, which doesn't seem to happen to often since I moved back in. It's crazy to think that I haven't had a place of my own in over a year. I don't know how I can handle it sometimes. There are days that I really wish I could just leave, like I could back then. Spend some time at my parents house, but I knew that I was going home after a bit. I really need to start saving money so I can actually move out sometime.

Life has been really weird lately. I guess its just me though. I mean I love hanging out with my friends from theatre, because they just make everything so colorful. Is that the right word? Maybe. But I know that since I started hanging out with them, I've been slipping, faith wise. I know I shouldn't be, but its almost as if I can't help it. I miss hanging out with Ba and them, but also at times I feel unwanted. Or perhaps more out of place. I feel like I don't fit. Like I am a sphere someone is trying to push through the cube's hole. Then I get to wondering...is that what it is supposed to be like? Surely this is not what God's love is like. Out of place. Hopefully His love is not something that would shun me.

I've been thinking lately about alot of stuff. Just wondering about things, and it makes me almost feel bad for doing so. I'm not making any sense now. But like I've almost been questioning my faith, and 'religion'. I feel as if I shouldn't be, but yet I feel as if I can not. I wonder all the time about wether or not I am right in my beliefs in God. I guess I'll never fully know or understand it all. Well time for bed.