ah...I'm old

so here it is only 12:35 and I'm dead tired. Feel like an old person. Who cares. I need to start going to bed earlier anyways because once school starts I'm going to need to. Since I will more than likely have to wake up at like 8 or so. Anyways, played a game with my family tonight. Thats always fun, since growing up we didn't ever do stuff like that. Also Hunter was being really cute. He was going to sleep on my shoulder when all of a sudden he pops his head up. So I was like you better lay your head back down. So he would for like 2 seconds then pop it back up again. It was so cute. So I guess as the night went along it got better. Samantha and my little bro Josh actually cleaned up some today. Which makes me happy, cause I really hate living in a dirty house. Okay so sometimes my room isn't the cleanest, but its only clothing. But here lately I've become this little clean freak, maybe cause my brother and them are so messy. I was trying to think earlier where I could go to work. Sadly the only place I could think of that would let me come in at 7, would be United. I've worked for them before and I'm not sure I could do it again. If anyone who reads this has an idea, please let me know. I really need to save all the cash I can and $100 a week doesn't really make much of a dent.

The kids have been better this week. Wait, Ashton has been better this week. It could be that Gene and Dawn had a long talk with him. Told him if he got in trouble again he'd have to stay with his Nana. Well not really trouble, cause kids will be kids, just if he back talked me again. For the most part he's been really sweet, which is a good change. But it also makes Keyondra look much worse. She hasn't been liking to take no for an answer. You know I remember when I was younger and my parents would tell me no, I really don't think I ever said why not. I knew that they said no, and thats what they meant. Now my brothers on the other hand would always ask, then get yelled at with the common, because I said so. I say that to Ashton some. Just because he sometimes won't take the reason you give him. But it's whatever.

As I'm sitting here, I'm thinking. What kind of person am I? How do people really see me? Do they even truely like me? Don't know why, but that's what's in my head. Cause sometimes I don't like me. I don't like the things I do. I don't like the way I am. But only sometimes. I'm such a loser. Im out.